As the popular adage goes: “Opinions are like assholes: We’ve all got one.” However, it’s a helluva lot easier to get someone to show you their opinion in a crowded bar, so perhaps that’s where the analogy (if you’ll pardon the term) falls down.

Assplay is one of those things that everyone is curious about. However, too many people are intimidated; it is, after all, a dark little world in there, and not one that we explore that much. To the uninitiated, the ass is the Mariana Trench of the human body: Nobody knows how deep it is, exactly, and we can’t exactly be sure what lurks inside.

However, in reality, the ass isn’t that scary at all – and assplay doesn’t have to be scary either.

If you’re keen to approach the idea of assplay with your partner (or, indeed, a willing friend), ensure that you’re in a safe, positive environment, perhaps cuddling post-coitus, and gently bring up the idea. You can get a good idea of someone’s willingness to explore the tuckus from your first conversation about it. If they’re keen to give it a try – excellent! If they’re dead against it, be respectful of this. Don’t push anyone into anything they don’t want to try.

If you find yourself with a willing plaything, schedule a time to try a little ass-loving. The key to good assplay is having both participants feeling nice and relaxed, so springing it on someone when its their first time can be less than perfect. Choose a time, make a date of it, and make sure everyone is nice and chilled about before you even get near anyone’s anus.

Anal play always goes better when there’s been a good amount of foreplay and even an orgasm (or two; don’t let me stop you), so spend a good amount of time loving and pleasuring your partner before you let yourself head south for the winter. When you do, be gentle; the anus is a sensitive little thing, and doesn’t take well to rough play at first. First let a finger or a tongue play around the outside, always staying receptive to the movements of your partner and always checking in with them for how they’re feeling. In time, you’ll feel them relax and quite literally open up to you. That’s the time to let a little finger slip in, and see how that feels.

The golden rule of assplay is this: Always use more lube.

Lube is your best friend when it comes to the ass. There are a good range of anal-specific lubricants on the market, and you can find many on the Hustler Hollywood store right here. However, you don’t need an anal-only lube; most lubes are suitable for anal play. Get that shit all over. Don’t be shy. You definitely won’t regret it.

From one lubed little finger, the world is your oyster. For your first time, you might only get a fingertip inside. This is fine; don’t rush. It might take a few play sessions to get a whole finger inside, and then yet more sessions to get a toy, a butt plug or a cock inside. Don’t worry; the journey is half the fun when it comes to the tush.

Work slowly, and work up to it. Be gentle, be communicative and be incredibly respectful. Letting someone play with your asshole is can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, bringing up feeling of vulnerability in the receiver. Stroke and reassure your partner; make them feel loved, supported, and most of all looked after.

Play nice, and you’ll be invited to play again. And remember: Don’t forget the lube.


About The Author

Lord Morpheous

Morpheous (Hons B.A., B.Ed) is a sex educator/author, photographer and kink consultant based in Toronto, Canada. His work is archived at the Sexual Representation Collection at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto, The Leather Archives of Chicago and the National Archives of Canada. He travels and presents across the Americas, Europe and Asia doing outreach to both academic and kink aware safer sex organizations.He is also the host of the world's largest single night public erotic Japanese Rope Bondage event during Nuit Blanche every year in Toronto, Canada.