How to use household items to be absolutely filthy.

BDSM is not a rich man’s game. Some of us are more than happy to spend all our money on whips of handmade leather and ball gags that cost more than a month’s rent – but then again, some of us are a little bit too into it.

It needn’t be this way. In fact, your can get filthier than a nightclub toilet without spending a single dime.

How?

By getting imaginative.

Look around you (if you’re at home, that is; most people don’t like you using their stuff for kink purposes). That wide hairbrush; wouldn’t that make a perfect tool for spanking your partner’s tush until it’s red raw? That weird bit of fabric that came with your bathrobe, that would never stay where it was meant to but was ostensibly meant for use as a sort of belt; wouldn’t that be a beautiful way to tie your partner’s wrists behind his back so you could immobilize him entirely?

People have been shoving things inside themselves and others since before time began (or thereabouts) and they didn’t always pay $50 for a purpose-made piece of silicone to do it with, so don’t be shy about getting dirty with your belongings. You won’t be the first.

Here are a few of my favorite pervertibles – all of which can be bought easily and for almost no money.

Clothes pins

Oh, the humble peg. Twister of nipples, grabber of skin. Traditional wooden clothespins are just about custom-built to be used by pervs who love a taste of the olden days. Use these as nipple clamps, or, if you’re feeling particularly spicy, creates lines of them up and down your sub’s body with a line running through them, and pull them all off at once.

Pillowcases

They might look all white and innocent, but a pillowcase can be used to tie your sub’s arms behind their back in a way they’ll never get out of. Empty out the pillow, get your sub to put their arms behind their back and grab their elbows, then simply slide the pillowcase up their upper arms. Now do with them what you wish!

A spatula

Grab yours and get a-spanking. The silicone or wooden ones are particularly good for this purpose, and their small surface area means that they’re good for being specific with your hits. You can also shove a condom on the knobbly end and put it basically anywhere you want to.

Be safe, and course, and anything gives you pause for thought, don’t do it. But next time let your mind stray, and remember – the only limit is your filthy mind.

About The Author

Lord Morpheous

Morpheous (Hons B.A., B.Ed) is a sex educator/author, photographer and kink consultant based in Toronto, Canada. His work is archived at the Sexual Representation Collection at the Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto, The Leather Archives of Chicago and the National Archives of Canada. He travels and presents across the Americas, Europe and Asia doing outreach to both academic and kink aware safer sex organizations.He is also the host of the world's largest single night public erotic Japanese Rope Bondage event during Nuit Blanche every year in Toronto, Canada.


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